The Lonely Island - I Just Had Sex

I should be studying neuroscience, but this made my night.

I present to you the delightful new single and music video from the Lonely Island. So honest. So genius. It also features cameos by Jessica Alba, Akon and Blake Lively.



Some lyrical gems from this song:
"It felt so good when I did it with my penis."
"And I called my parents right after I was done."
"'I'm so humbled by a girl's ability to let me do her because honestly, I'd have sex with a pile of manure."
"She kept looking at her watch - doesn't matter, have sex! But I cried the whole time - doesn't matter, have sex! I think she might have been a racist - doesn't matter, have sex! She put a bag on my head - still counts!" #KKKmask

Priceless.
Come on now. After you had sex, I'm sure you want to sing it out loud too.
Now you have the perfect anthem for it.

Flashback

Even when I was a baby, I was a baller.

Give us money, we are pretty.

My friend Rana bought me "Sex and the Single Girl" last summer as a present (well, she also wanted to read it herself). It is written by Helen Gurley Brown, the former editor-in-chief of Cosmopolitan magazine. The book advocates confidence and independence and encourages women to experience sexual relationships without or before marriage.

Perhaps it’s not a secret, but I dig musicians – the ones who grace concert halls or tiny venues with their urban bohemian look, mastery of instruments and appreciation for art and music. Trace my dating history and this is predominately who you will find. Unfortunately, most warn you to stay away from certain musician types: the edgy, emotional flakes that have gaggles of women at their disposal.

via Maniac World
To be honest, this picture doesn't really have to do with the book and relationships. Because as much as I like money, I don't want to be paid for a relationship. That would be considered prostitution - i.e. things that are slightly frowned upon. 
 But I'm focusing on the "we are pretty" part. #girlpowerbaby

Sometimes I fancy myself Wonder Woman – not dependent on any man. Using a mixture of sass and sarcasm and sincerity to capture someone’s attention but asserting my independence. But sometimes it’s difficult to ignore feeling a little hurt when someone perfects his disappearing act or makes you feel disposable or keeps you as an option, but not a priority. 

I'm still dating around. It has been relatively successful, but there has been some damage and mess along the way. For one or both parties involved.

But the book has been enlightening. Encouraging. Empowering.

That's right. Nobody puts Asian in the corner.

Mixtape Monday

Forty handwritten notes and mixtapes for each of my residents. #mybabies

I know. I'm destroying the very industry I want to work in someday. But welcome to what David Gallagher calls the golden age of the mix CD and the golden age of copyright infringement.

But he continues to say that “there’s nothing quite like the feeling of getting a package and knowing that someone out there took the time to make this.” And because tastes are so idiosyncratic, each mix is a “carefully crafted window into a person.” I certainly think so. It is ultimately the fruit of someone’s labor and time – a gift. Even if most of the music is not to my taste, I have never thrown away a mix that was given to me.

Anyway, I've said this before, but I'm all about Rob Sheffield and his thoughts on mixtapes. There are numerous kinds of mixtapes for every conceivable occasion, and there is always a reason to create one. The technology might change – as we go from cassettes to CDs to flash drives and back again– but “it’s a fundamental human need to pass music around, and however the technology evolves, the music keeps moving.”

Happy Sunday

A little eye candy for your Sunday afternoon.

B&H Dairy Serves Up Vegetarian Goodies for Cheap

Yes, I'm still in mourning because the glorious little Asian Pub is shutting down soon. That place truly is my first horcrux, but I did find a new place to insert a fragment of my soul.

Well, it's not quite the perfect substitute. No bargain booze. But it is another haven for hangover food and broke college students.

B & H Vegetarian Restaurant is easy to miss – it blends in with the little storefronts on Second Avenue. But once you step inside, you are immediately greeted with the scents of soups and 80 other kinds of goodness.  It has the feel of a divey diner - cozy, cheap and oh-so-delicious.

via Flickr

 Most plates are under 10 dollars and the cook will fill you up with heaps of food. The array of choices on the menu can be a little overwhelming at first. Salmon croquettes? Blintzes with a side of soup?  The cheese pierogis are a must. The cheddar cheese and apples omelet is also a safe bet. But there are about nine different omelets to choose from, in addition to more than 10 overstuffed sandwiches and different specials each day.

via Flickr

Mike is the friendly cook who’s bustling around behind the counter – he’ll encourage you to keep on eating and feign heartbreak if you don’t finish what’s on your plate. So say hi when you’re sitting at the counter, but prepare to brush elbows with strangers left and right. And expect to be taunted by the strategically-placed carrot cake in front of you. Even when you’re full, you’ll still wonder what that tastes like.

Gluttony never looked so good.

The love child of an art gallery and a bar.

As Frank Bruni said, "With notable exceptions like long-distance running, any-distance driving and matters of personal hygiene involving sharp blades, most activities go down easier and happier with a drink in hand."

Whenever the ARC Gallery has a fundraiser or exhibition opening, I usually get to play hostess and bartend. Red and white wine. It’s the usual fare.

But now here’s your chance to drink to your art on the LES anytime. With the Four Loko ban and Asian Pub closing down, I think it's time we fight Prohibition in every possible way.

Culturefix - 9 Clinton Street

"Culturefix is a bar, gallery and event space. Offering workshops, gallery openings, parlor games and live performances, Culturefix invites lovers of the arts, food, drink and design to merge."

 Panda - 139 Chrystie Street

"It's like your best friend's living room with a bit of serendipity thrown in..."
Panda is a European-style cafe/bar with organic coffee, teas and free Wifi by day, Happy Hour by night.

For more drinks with a view, check out the rest of the New York Times article via the Tipsy Diaries.

Anyone fancy a gallery crawl this weekend?

Food for thought.

I've never told a lie I didn't first believe myself.

Girl Talk's new album "All Day" available for free

Mixologist Gregg Gillis otherwise known as Girl Talk has been working on his follow-up to his 2008 album "Feed the Animals" all summer long. And it dropped today. You can download it as one seamless track - the zeitgeist of feel-good anthems - or as separate mp3s. All for the glorious price of free.

via DCist

I've seen him live several times and he always puts on a great show - it's one big sweaty dance party. Go! He already announced some upcoming tour dates. The man has a gift for mixing genres and creating party-starting mash-ups that were meant for hip-shaking. "All Day" is a collection of gems - the love child of every popular song featuring samples from Lady Gaga, Phoenix, Beyonce, Ludacris, Notorious B.I.G., Belinda Carlisle, Cream, Willow Smith and more.

If you're interested in the breakdown and the identification of all of the samples, check out this neat website.

Photo Essay - The Downtown Collection

via Flickr

 Tucked away on the third floor of 70 Washington Square is the Fales Library – home to volumes of rare books and manuscript materials. One of its many gems is the Downtown Collection. It was established in 1994 by the sociable and savvy Marvin Taylor, the director of Fales Library and Special Collections at New York University.

The Downtown Collection documents the New York art scene from 1975 to the present. At the time, art forms of all kinds were produced: music, literature, performance, theater, film, dance, photography and more. The Downtown Collection gathers all of these outputs and preserves the artistic products of cultural movements. The continuously growing collection contains printed items from punk magazines to posters, from the diary of Patti Smith to the papers of Richard Hell.

Currently, “A Sanctuary for the Arts: Judson Memorial Church and the Avant-Garde, 1954-1977” is on exhibit through January 7, 2011. It collects the creative jewels from Judson Memorial Church’s basement; you’ll find a balled up flag from the People’s Flag Show and footage from Carolee Schneemann’s Meat Joy. In this performance piece, you’ll witness bodies being dragged around and sculpted, dead chickens and fish being shoved down underwear and in people’s mouths.

 

As Taylor put it, the Downtown Collection contains the things “that never made it uptown.”

 And so, I leave you with a do-it-yourself protest song. After all, DIY is the mantra of punk music.

Cute overload.

All I want to do tonight is play with this dog, drink tea and be little spoon.
Maybe then I would feel a little better.

Four Loko's last hurrah?

On November 11, 198B Orchard Street was home to a Four Loko event. Restaurant Xiao Ye was the first bar in New York to sell Four Loko.

The beverage is 12 percent alcohol - the equivalent of six cans of beer, a few cups of coffee and last night's mistakes.

via The Observer

The "blackout in a can" drink has been controversial - linked to hospitalizations and death. And according to the New York Times, the company that makes Four Loko is going to stop sending shipments to New York State by Friday.

Looks like people need to start stockpiling.

Election Day 2010 on the LES

“Who am I supposed to vote for? Andrew Cuomo and who else?”

A tall twenty-something man with black-rimmed glasses is speed-walking and speaking urgently into his phone. I follow him past black iron gates plastered with white signs that say “VOTE HERE” in 4 different languages.

 Unfortunately, I don’t follow politics as closely as I should. I could understand the stranger’s confusion on General Election Day. And I was apprehensive about going to the polling site – was I going to get kicked out? Would anyone speak to me? I didn’t know what I was going to find.

We arrive at poll site M0319: 189 Allen Street. A 17-story public housing development called the Rafael Hernandez Houses. 

From 4:30 p.m. to 6:00 p.m., people trickle in the room with its cinder block walls and tile floors. There are a handful of students. Others are dressed in work clothes, suits and clattering heels. Sometimes there were only three or four people in the room; other times the room was filled with dozens.

There are a few tables arranged around the room with a couple of people at each one. In the center of the space are makeshift tables with compartments; they are equipped with lighting and sheets of paper that outlined the voting process. It seemed simple enough. Get your ballot. Mark your ballot. Scan your ballot?

And then I saw the new polling machines. No more lever machines. In the corner of the room sat 3 black machines and 1 gray one for those with disabilities.

Well, it seemed that people were coming out to vote or working the sites for different reasons. Lewis Chio, 21, and Koey Chio, 23, were part-time workers who needed the money. Student Peter Valdez, 19, who goes to Hunter, wanted to “keep the general ideal of the democrats in power.” Kristina Wels, 36, director of Caedmon School, was passionate about gay marriage and economy issues.

But it seemed that everyone I spoke to approved of the new polling system. Or at least saw its potential.

“The changes are great,” Poll Inspector Juan Ayala, 24, said. “The money you’re going to save when one of these break? Easy. It’s a computer you can reset and reprogram. When the old machines broke, you had to send it in because nobody on site could fix it. They took up so much room. And now it’s just simpler. Younger people, our generation, find it easier. Older people might not, but at the same time, they have to catch up.”

Milagros Abreu, 55, said she found it to be surprisingly easy. National Grid employee Feisal Ahmad, 33, also appreciated the quickened process. Wels thought it was about time they had a new voting procedure.

But she thinks the issue that probably has to be addressed more than anything is actually getting people to come out and vote.

“I can imagine people who work the night shift who can’t make it,” said Wels. “Or those who have more than 1 kid. I talked to a few mothers at my school and they wished they could vote, but they have 3 kids or they have to pick them up from soccer practice, and it’s just too hard. If you could do it at home, it would be a much more fair distribution of who is actually voting in the election.”

But until then, it seems that voters and workers hope the new system doesn't prevent anyone from coming out to vote.

“Older people might be more apprehensive to go out – some might hear ‘technology’ and forget it,” said Valdez. “Hopefully they’ll get used to it. If you feel any sort of responsibility or at any point wanted something to change, you would bring it about by voting.”

“Technology might just seem a little hectic at first, but by next September, everyone will have it down,” Poll Coordinator Janet Guzman, 65, said. “They have to. It’s more than important to vote. You have a voice, and without the voice, things would never change.”

Halloween costumes are too stressful.

My neuroscience professor originally scheduled an exam the day after Halloween. Thanks to all things wonderful in the world, a fire alarm was set off this past Wednesday and she decided to move the test date.

Oh, bloody hell. That means I need to cobble together a costume now. And "in various states of inebriation" isn't an appropriate answer to "What are you going to be for Halloween?"

I thought about doing it up like Bowie like the cover of Aladdin Sane.

via CD Universe

Or Bjork in a swan dress.

via stuff.co.nz

But my dear friend Kenneth Drake said, "Twrenty dollars says someone asks if you're dressed as Margaret Cho."

Not having that. Luckily, a brilliant costume idea struck me at work yesterday. I've decided I am, indeed, a genius. My friend Adam and I are keeping it a surprise. Pictures to follow.

Happy almost Halloween everyone!

Let the debauchery begin. Party it up at the Cake Shop and swing by the Seward Park Cooperative’s Halloween party/carnival during the day. And pick up that mask - join Joonbug for its Masquerade Ball for free vodka and lots of potential for celebrity sightings.

Cheers.

A little round-up of the week on the LES.

Here are some snippets of neighborhood goings-on because the LES has been thriving this week. Live, sensual sushi advertisements and film/video shoots have been spotted on the streets. A new culinary center at the Tenement Museum will be opening. The Lower East Side Girls Club had a celebration for their soon-to-be new home. There is also a fresh Bowery scent hitting the markets and a Bowery exhibit in Whole Foods.

Unfortunately, there were also some gray clouds hovering over the area - neighborhood shootings and the last of government funds being distributed to some non-profits.

• Three people were shot on October 26 on Stanton and Attorney Streets. "Darling, don't worry," witness Newkirk said as she helped treat a bullet hole in one man's calf. "It's just a flesh wound - just chill out."  – New York Daily News. Oh, just a flesh wound? Good. Now that I know I have it's just another orifice in my body with no pleasurable function, I can breathe easy.
• If you see scantily clad women holding red snappers, octopus tentacles and rope tied in positions inspired by Shibari (the Japanese art of erotic rope bondage), don’t worry. They're just promoting Uo Sushi on the LES. – NY Eater. Huh. I'm sure that tickles someone's erotic fantasies.
• The Lower East Side Tenement Museum is going to open a Culinary Center as part of its new visitor’s center! – The Village Voice.
• Rihanna and Drake finished filming the music video for their song "What's My Name?". She was seen around Tribeca and the Lower East Side over the past few weeks. – Ace Showbiz. Speaking of filmings, BBC/Discovery Channel is also shooting the documentary Filthy City on Broome Street.
• "On the Bowery" is an exhibit that opened at Whole Foods on Thursday and traces the history of the Bowery. - DNA Info.
• The Lower Manhattan Development Corporation announced that the last of government funds would be distributed among nonprofits south of Houston Street. – The New York Observer.
• Bond No. 9 is soldering on with its "Scents of New York" campaign - time to check out Nouveau Bowery. Mmm, citrusy. – NearSay
• “Community leaders and elected officials gathered Friday to break ground on a $35 million project that will give the Lower East Side Girls Club its first real home since the organization was founded in 1996." – NY1.

Happy Halloween weekend, everyone.

Loisaida

One memory stands out for Helena D. Lewis. She was coming out of the little back door at Nuyorican Poets Café to perform her piece for the Grand Slam poetry competition. She accidentally banged her knee. The combination of the hit and the lack of food in her system caused her to faint before she could do her first poem.

“Helena, I’ve seen you do this poem before. Is this a part of the act?” asked one of the event curators.

The next thing she knew, she woke up in the manager’s apartment across the street, surrounded by poets trying to feed her orange juice and bananas. The people that Lewis now calls her “extended family.”

The Nuyorican Poets Cafe is a non-profit organization and a multi-cultural venue. Its programming runs the gamut from visual arts exhibits to poetry slams to theatrical and musical performances. As its website explains, the Café’s purpose is to “provide a stage for the artists traditionally under-represented in the mainstream media and culture; promoting their work while building an audience and providing an ongoing support system for them as they grow.” 

The cafe started in 1973 in the living room of writer and poet Miguel Algarin. When the space couldn’t accommodate the people and the energy, Algarin rented out an Irish bar called the Sunshine Café. In 1980, the booming audience led the Cafe to take over its current space at 236 East 3rd Street.

 “For years, the café has been a grassroots volunteer organization – the strength and the durability of the organization given through the people involved and their love for the organization,” said Nuyorican’s Executive Director Daniel Gallant. “The downside is that at a certain point, it is difficult to sustain after you have been around for decades with people giving themselves and all their time for years. If our organization wants to grow and continue, it needs to professionalize in terms of financial operations, how we handle programming, how we market ourselves, how we compensate our performers. We have been professionalizing for years while maintaining the edgy and grassroots community-based feel.”

According to Gallant, the Café owns the space, allowing for its survival while other arts and non-profit organizations have had to close their doors. Earned income sustains the building. Ownership also helps Nuyorican maintain low ticket prices – typically $5 to $12 – and audience accessibility. With the increasing demand for the space from artists and promoters and spectators, in addition to the increasing audience base, Nuyorican has started a campaign to expand.

“We were lucky enough with a lot of hard work to get the city to commit $500,000,” said Gallant. “It’s a fantastic first step. We have reason to think in the next year or two, the amount of funding can increase significantly. For an organization growing like ours, it’s something that has to happen as an ongoing effort.”

Right now, three of the upper floors remain unused. Nuyorican is working to transform them into a second performance space, classroom area, a multimedia lab and a bigger office space.

Nuyorican also plans to move forward in touring and developing stronger online offerings.

“We’re still working on the best way to present all of our work – especially slam poetry – in a format that really demonstrates the strength of the art form,” said Gallant. “We’re working on finding digital ways to document not just the performance itself, but the real interaction between the audience and the artists. The live experience.”

Increasing off-site bookings is also on the to-do list. Starting in January, Nuyorican is having a 6-month series of performances at the Brooklyn Museum – a mixture of music and spoken word. Be on the look-out for acts such as the Mighty Third Rail, Mahogany Browne, Carlos Andres Gomez, as well as muMs & Aurora, a group that started at Nuyorican.

via www.placematters.net

Lewis has been going to Nuyorican since 1998, but she didn’t start “slamming” until 2000 when she decided she wanted to be on the Nuyorican National Slam Team. When she was looking for a venue to house her play “Call Me Crazy: Diary of a Mad Social Worker,” Nuyorican gave Lewis the chance to produce her show.

“If it wasn't for the Café giving me a chance to put my play up, use their stage, their lights and all at a very reasonable cost, I would not have been able to build such a strong audience with the show,” said Lewis. “I'm so thankful that Miguel founded the Café to give artists a chance to perform and showcase their work – to give a voice to the sometime voiceless performers who are not classified and ‘mainstream.’”

For a full list of events at Nuyorican Poets Café, check out www.nuyorican.org/calendar.php.

[Random] Musings

As my friend puts it: she fell in love and she’s going to Europe.

Tonight I went to her farewell soiree on the Lower East Side for about an hour or so to drink wine and share laughs. On the way back, I was crossing the street on Delancey alongside some blond-haired man on a bike. A white car decided to ignore the traffic light and cut in front of us.

“Faggot,” said a 30-something Indian man from the backseat.

He shouted another stream of hateful words as the car drove off.

Especially in lieu of the recent suicides of young men after homophobic harassment, I felt a little sick. I thought about turning to the stranger next to me. But before I could formulate any words, to my surprise, the man on the bike went after the beat-up white car. He pulled up next to it.

I paused to watch them exchange a brief conversation. I heard the biker say something along the lines of “What, do you seriously want to fight about this?”

But he seemed to be the bigger person. He biked away.

“Faggot,” the man in the car shouted again.

Sometimes the world is such an ugly place.

CMJ

I look down at my Blackberry screen to find a BBM from my friend Michael.

“There are so many effing hipsters in Kimmel, your vag would explode.”

Lovely.

Mmm, it is that beautiful time of the year again. The College Music Journal’s annual Music Marathon and Film Festival is well underway. From October 19 to October 23, CMJ will set up base at NYU’s Kimmel Center and take over the rest of New York City. It is five days of film screenings, music showcases, panels and after-parties.

Last night, Lower East Side’s Rockwood Music Hall was graced by Lady Danville. There’s something about a really great cover song – the idea of reinventing an old favorite (or song you hate) and presenting it with a fresh perspective. The band does an excellent cover of MGMT’s “Kids.” The original song is reminiscent of those summer days when you’re in a car with the windows down – soaking in the sun and the catchy synthesizer samples. Lady Danville took MGMT’s upbeat disco-pop song and created a different indie gem altogether with pianos and acoustic guitars. It is soft and soothing. And they sing oh-so-intimately.Check out their live version:



Several Lower East Side venues are hosting CMJ concerts, including Arlene's Grocery, Living Room, Rockwood Music Hall Stage, The Delancey, Mercury Lounge, Local 269, Cake Shop and Fat Baby. The quagmire-esque schedule can seem daunting, so here are just a handful of recommendations of shows in the area. If I included artists and venues outside of the LES, I’d be writing a novel. So be sure to check out the full schedule at www.cmj.com.

Hsu-Nami
Thursday, October 21, 10:15 p.m.- 11:00 p.m.
Fat Baby | 112 Rivington St
They played at a set at my high school back in the day. They use an erhu, which is a Chinese two-stringed bowed instrument, and manage to combine it with elements of rock and metal music.

Jet Lag Gemini
Saturday October 21, 10 p.m. – 10:30 p.m.
Arlene's Grocery | 95 Stanton St
These boys are good friends. I discovered them about seven years ago when they were playing tiny venues in New Jersey. I used to be their merch girl, bake them cookies and take their photographs. Their music is nothing but perfect hooks and power chords and so much danceable energy that translate well from the CD to the live show.

Savoir Adore
Thursday, October 21, 7:15 p.m. – 7:45 p.m.
Bowery Electric | 327 Bowery
Two-piece pop/folk duo with an addicting sound. Enough said.

Red Wire Black Wire
Saturday, October 23, 2:30 p.m.– 3:00 p.m.
The Delancey | 168 Delancey St
Last time at CMJ, I was waiting to see Yes Giantess at the Studio in Webster Hall with my good friend Good Goose of Menya. Red Wire Black Wire played before them. They produce music with a pop sensibility mixed with electronic confetti and guitar. And they have an ace cover of “Love is a Battlefield.”

Cheers.

"Bohemian Dream House"

A homeless man sleeps on the steps of a graffiti-slathered building on the corner of Spring and Bowery. One boy deems it a worthy place to relieve himself.

190 Bowery is an old bank building. It looks abandoned on the outside. But check out the interiors:

via Modern Architect Design

via Modern Architect Design

According to New York Magazine, photographer Jay Maisel lives there with his wife and daughter. It looks eerie and empty, but it’s actually a single family home with six stories and 72 rooms. Maisel bought it for $102,000 dollars in 1966.

Anyone know of any other mysterious buildings in New York City?

The Art(s) of Recommendation

I consume music constantly – while I’m sitting on a subway, falling asleep in my bed, writing a late-night paper because I’m a procrastinAsian, etc. But sometimes I go through phases of disliking all of my music and I crave something new.

I find the social processes behind music recommendation and discovery so interesting. As writer Rob Sheffield says, “It’s a fundamental human need to pass music around, and however the technology evolves, the music keeps moving.” Some people are always open to experimentation and open discovery. Others are less adventurous and need to be coaxed out of their safety zones. I think the best music discoveries are found in serendipitous encounters, but it sometimes helps to check out what people recommend. Considering the amount of music available on the LES, sometimes it helps to have a little guidance.

Ken Beasley compiled a list of upcoming concerts to check out on the Lower East Side this weekend. Beasley of bands Ken Beasley & Co. and Missy Sport, is also a curator of the music series Underground at the Abrons. The Abrons Art Center is a venue devoted to bringing the arts to the Lower East Side through “diverse, cutting-edge performances; exhibitions/artist residencies; classes and workshops for all ages, including pre-professional training for youth; and arts-in-education programming at public schools.”

Anyway, he recommends Bowery Ballroom, Pianos and the Living Room this weekend to check out his picks via the Lo Down: http://www.thelodownny.com/leslog/2010/10/weekend-music-picks-10.html#more-19043.

And all of these music venues are frequently reviewed in Yelp’s LES section.

On the other end of the spectrum, there is music you don’t recommend. The kind you want to ban entirely. Surprisingly, Parkside Lounge is a bar that has zero tolerance for Lady Gaga. The LES used to be her home, but apparently not everyone is a fan.

The divey Parkside Lounge at 317 East Houston, situated just a few blocks near her old stomping grounds, issued a stern looseleaf-paper warning to all jukebox-playing patrons. No Gaga tracks, or else you will be shamed! It reads:

via Bowery Boogie

Huh, looks like no one will be discovering Gaga music at this bar. Unless they want to be a dollar or so poorer.